How insulting! Even the most blood-sucking vampire among us has a lot more scruples than some of those Wall Street robber barons! (And certain politicians, I might add!) You insult all of us vampires when you compare us to THEM! Pull-ease!

In the spirit of the public good, I’m offering my services: send those Wall Street types (and politicians) over to Castle Bachula for a weekend of, um, “tenderizing” and I’ll show them the meaning of “blood-sucking”!!

In the nicest possible way, of course. I’m famous for my, um, “hospitality”.

Meanwhile, have a nice night!

(Of course I suppose that it doesn’t help that they keep sending ambassadors and those ambassadors keep disappearing.)

And both John McCain and Barach Obama are doing all they can to woo women voters, white blue-collar voters, black voters, etc. etc. etc., but what are they doing to woo the vampire voter? Nothing! Nada! Not a darn thing! How can both Republicans and Democrats simply pretend that we don’t exist? Don’t they want our votes? Don’t they care about the concerns of us vampires?

For example, I happen to know that many of my fellow-vampires who un-live in the United States are very concerned about Social Security. What will happen when the Social Security system goes broke three or four hundred years from now? They’ll still be relying on those Social Security checks every month to make their crypt payments!

And other retired vampires rely on food stamps to make the blood-bank withdrawals they so desperately need—do Americans really want these retired vampires to “go back to work”?